A Buncu oF Roszs 
A Burlesque Musical Entertainment 


BY 


Wi Ds FELTER 


AUTHOR OF “THE SWEET FAMILY,” ‘OVER THE GARDEN WALL,” 
‘* THE WIDOW’S PROPOSALS,” ETC. 


CopyRiGHT, 1898, By HAROLD RooRBACH 


at 


NEW YORK 
DICK & FITZGERALD, Pus isuers 


18 ANN STREET 


DP AUG Hi LRA Ree fener UE Tam 


: aes reign r{ ead ery 4 
A Ee St Ses Met aN 


4 


oo 


4 
4 


us 


A BUNCH OF ROSES. 


CAST OF CHARACTERS, 


Mrs. PH@BE ANN RosE,— from Kalamazoo. 
PRUDENCE LOBELIA, 
POLLY CLORINDA, 
PRISCILLA, 
PAMELIA, 
PATIENCE, 
PENELOPE, 
LILLy, ] 
FANSY) | The Rosebuds. 
VIOLET, 
DAIsyY, | 
SALLY SPARKS, — who only “ thinks so.” 
MATILDA JANE, —the Hired Girl. 

* MELVIN MELROSE, — (the only Young Man on the Spot. 


The Bunch of Roses. 


PROPERTIES. 


Washtub and board. Bottle. Two large rag dolls in long dresses and caps. 
Small mirror for Melrose. A large bouquet made by tying paper flowers to a 
dead branch, the stem being decorated with a large bow of ribbon — this is to be 
brought forward by some one in the audience to PRUDENCE, after her recitation. 


* This character may be impersonated by a young lady, if preferred. 


COSTUMES. 


Mrs. ROSE. Old-fashioned dress; big bonnet; faded cotton umbrella; 
bandbox, etc. 

A BUNCH OF RosEs. Light summer dresses of a fashion three or four years 
old, trimmed and ruffled with colors. Funny bonnets, 
with gay strings tied under chin, and completely cov- 
ered with roses (paper roses can be used). Hand-bags 
and fancy work. Small parasols such as children use. 
Hair in cork-screw curls or hanging down back. Don’t 
try to look “ pretty,” but let everything be decidedly 


burlesque. 
SALLY SPARKS. . Short dress; gingham pinafore; hair in two braids to 
stick out behind ears. 
MATILDA JANE. Calico dress; apron. 
MELVIN MELROSE. Summer bicycle or outing suit; straw hat; négligé shirt, 
etc. 


THE ROSE-Bups. Short dresses; pantalettes; funny, outlandish hats. They 
should be very awkward, and chew gum constantly. 


SCENE. 


The scene is supposed to represent the parlor of a country boarding house. 
About three feet in front of the rear wall hang two curtains to extend across the 
platform, leaving an opening, in the centre, of three or four feet. Behind this 
centre opening, hang a black cloth against the wall to form a backing for the 
pictures. Place curtains or screens at the sides of the platform, leaving spaces 
at the rear to serve as entrances, right and left. 3 chairs rR. and 3 chairs L., up 
stage. 1 chair R. and 1 chair L.,down stage. If there is sufficient space, a table 
back of chair L. Other furniture to dress the stage, as may be convenient. If 
the piece is represented on a regular stage, set a plain room scene in the same 
manner. 


ABBREVIATIONS. 


In observing, the actors are supposed to face the audience. R. means right; 
L., left; C., centre, UP STAGE, toward the rear; DOWN STAGE, toward the 
audience. 


A BUNCH OF ROSES. 
at 


As the curtain rises, MRS. ROSE ENTERS from R., with um- 
brella, bandbox, etc.,and crosses toc. She speaks breathlessly and 
impatiently. 


Mrs. Rose. Well, upon my life, I wonder what sort of a place 
this is, anyway! Ive knocked, and knocked, and knocked, and 
nobody seemed to pay the slightest attention to me. A nice sort 
of a place this must be for summer boarders! (Looks around.) 1 
wonder where they all are? When I left Kalamazoo with my lovely 
daughters, everybody said as how I’d wish I was back home instead 
of being cooped up in a four-by-six room. My daughters had read 
so much about the girls a-going away from home to be Summer 
Girls at a waterin’ place, that there wa’n’t no peace in our family 
until I promised to bring them here. The advertisement that 
caught me read, ‘‘A nice, quiet place with all the comforts of 
home, and the companionship of many charming people.” (Looks 
around.) The place seems quiet enough, but I wonder where the 
charming people are. 


ENTER SALLY SPARKS, R. 


Mrs. R. (turns and sees her). Isn’t there anybody at home? 
SALLY (R. C.). Think so. 
Mrs. R. (L. c.). ‘* Think so!” Well, don’t you know whether 
there is or not? 
SAL. Think so. 
Mrs. R. You're an idiot. 
SAL. Think so? 
Mrs. R. Do you work here? 
SAL. Think so. 
Mrs. R. Is your mistress at home? 
SAL. Thinkso. (Crossing to L. entrance.) 
MRs. R. (crossing toR.). Well, do you think you can tell her 
that Mrs. Phoebe Priscilla Ann Rose and daughters have arrived? 
SAL. Think so. (EX/7, L.) 
Mrs. R. (/ooking after her). 1 wonder if that is all she can say? 
s hope she isn’t a sample of the ‘‘ charming” people we are to meet 
ere. 


5 


6 A Bunch of Roses. 


ENTER MATILDA JANE, L. 


Mrs. R. Are you the landlady, Miss Slimmens? 

MATILDA JANE (very drawly). No, ma’am. 

Mrs. R. Are you the hired girl? 

Mat. (brightens up). Yes, ma’am. 

Mrs. R. I wrote here about board for myself and my lovely 
daughters; and here we arrive, and no one to meet us. Are our 
rooms ready? 

Mat. (very drawly). No, ma’am. 

Mrs. R. Didn’t you know we were coming to-day? 

Mat. (brightens up). Yes, ma’am. 

Mrs. R. Are there many boarders here? 

MAT. No, ma’am. 

Mrs. R. Any gentlemen boarders? 

Mat. Yes, ma’am. 

Mrs. R. (aside). That’s good. Perhaps the girls will be able 
to make an impression upon some of them. (A/oud.) Are they 
old gentlemen? 

Mat. No, ma’am. 

Mrs. R. Young? 

Mat. Yes, ma’am. 

Mrs. R. Is your mistress at home? 

MaT. No, ma’am. 

Mrs. R. Can we remain here in the parlor until our rooms are 
ready? 

Mat. Yes, ma’am. (£ZX/7, L.) 

Mrs. R. (c.). ‘*Yes, ma’am,” and ‘‘no, ma’am.” What a 
numskull she is, to be sure! Rather a cool reception, I think; the 
landlady away, and two hired hands that don’t know anything about 
the place. (Crosses to.) I do wish some of those ‘‘ charming 
people” would come in. (S7¢s, L.) 


ENTER MELROSE from R. 


MELROSE. So dol. 

MRs. R. (astde). What a nice young man! He must be one of 
those charming people we are to meet. (A/oud.) Are you a-stop- 
ping here? 

MEL. I’m not moving, am I? 

Mrs. R. (astde). Inclined to be pert. (Aloud.) I mean, are 
you one of the summer boarders here ? 

MEL. Yes, I am fhe summer boarder here. (Sz¢s, R.) 

Mrs. R. (ixterested). How many are there? 

MEL. One to-day; none to-morrow. 

MRS. R. (puzzled). What do you mean? 

MEL. Just what I say. (Leans back and crosses knee.) 

Mrs. R. Do you mean to say you are the only one here? 

MEL. Iam the whole business. 


A Bunch of Roses, 7 


Mrs. R. (aside). And here 1’ve just arrived with my lovely 
daughters, and only one single man to go ‘round! 

MEL. Yes, I’ve heen here a week. You see, I saw an ‘‘ad.” in 
the paper for summer boarders, where one could have all the com- 
forts of home and the companionship of many charming people — 

Mrs. R. (énterrupting). The same advertisement that caught 
me. 

MEL. And so I came down expecting to have a jolly good time; 
but you are the first person I’ve seen since my arrival, except the 
landlady and two light-headed servants. I should have gone home 
before this, but Miss Slimmens told me she was expecting a Mrs. 
Rose and a bevy of lovely girls to-day — 

Mrs. R. (jumping up). And here we are. 

MEL. (rzses). Are you the Mrs. Rose who was expected? 

Mrs. R. Iam. 

MRL. (crosses to her). Then, where are your lovely daughters ? 

Mrs. R. Sitting out on the veranda, watching a chance to make 
an impression upon some young man. You see, this is their first 
season out; and they mean to be regular summer girls, and all be- 
come engaged before they go home. 

MEL. (turning away, aside). And I the only man here! 

Mrs. R. And we had laid such plans for our big entertainment 
that we were going to give. You know it’s quite the proper caper 
among summer boarders to give some grand charity benefit for the 
benefit of something or other; and we have arranged a program 
for the benefit of the Free Ice Fund for the Philippine islanders. 
What do you think of it? 

MEL. Immense! Simply immense! 

Mrs. R. My daughters are all beautiful and accomplished. 

MEL. Must take after their ma. (Coughs.) Ahem! Have you 
more than two daughters? 

Mrs. R. Well, afew more. I have a regular Bunch of Roses, 
to say nothing of my Rosebuds. 

MEL. Do they all take part in the entertainment? 

Mrs. R. Every one of them; sodolI. All we need is a young 
man to help us out. 

Met. Then count upon me. Anything to kill time; and 
Dew-y (d’ye) know, I think free ice is just the thing to give 
Hawaii (away) to the Philippine islanders? 

Mrs. R. You dear man! I'll call my daughters in; and as our 
rooms are not ready, we will rehearse our program here in the 
parlor. Let me see, your name is — 

MEL. Melrose— Melvin Melrose, of Montrose, Pa. (Say P A, 
not Pennsylvania. 

Mrs. R. Melrose! Well, I don’t see any reason why you 
shouldn’t join the bunch. 

MEL. (aside). I’m in for it now, so here goes for some fun. (R.) 

Mrs. R. (crosses to R., and calls). Come in, my cherubs, 


8 A Bunch of Roses. 


(To MELROSE.) Young man, prepare yourself for a regular feast of 
beauty. 
[MELROSE ¢éakes out a small mirror from his pocket ; 
straightens necktie, etc. 


ENTER the DAUGHTERS from R., running on single file, and 
forming a line across the rear of the stage, backs to audience. 
Each carries a small parasol open, in R. hand, so as to screen 
the face from the audtence. 


MRS. R. (L.). I never let a young man gaze upon my daughters’ 
beauty until he’s been prepared for it, for I’m always afraid the 
shock might shake him. Are you quite sure you can stand it? Are 
you fully prepared? 

MEL. (facing audience). Yes; I’m prepared for anything. 
( 7ragically.) 

Mrs. R. Then, behold! (A// the Girs turn at once and face 
audtence. Parasols over RK. shoulders. Turn to the R. so thai 
parasols are all at the same angle. MELROSE turns L. at the same 
time, and starts back as tf shot. GIRLS all smile upon him.) 
Girls, I want to introduce a// the ‘‘ charming people” you are to 
meet here. Mr. Melrose, my daughter (rst one on L.). 


Prudence Lobelia, who’s short and sweet ; 
Polly Clorinda, with Trilby feet ; 

Priscilla, a maiden fair of face ; 

Pamelia, you notice, is full of grace ; 
Patience, they say, looks just like me ; 
And that is little Pe-nel-o-pe. 


[All bow as tf one person. MELROSE bows at same time. 
SONG: ‘‘ How-DE-Do?”? 


GIRLS. We’ve just arrived from Kalamazoo, 
How-de-do? How-de-do? 
We’re all to stay the season through; 
How-de-do? How-de-do? 
We wish we had a man like you, 
Who’d come on Sunday nights to woo, 
For we know how to bill and coo — 


So do you ( point fingers at MELROSE). 
MEL. You bet I do. 


We were all brought up in Kalamazoo, 
How-de-do? How-de-do? 
A glance — just one — we'll give to you ; 
How-de-do? How-de-do? 
Some people say we’re awfully new, 
But ‘‘ our book we’ve read it through and through,’’ 
And so we know a thing or two— 


So do you (Pointing). 


A Bunch of Roses. 9 


HOW-DE-DO. 


Arranged by LAURA LA GRANGE. 
Allegro. 


. -o- 


i spveers 
ee oes “ic Sobel le Sp ok 
Apts Eee ee See eee oes eee 


CPT ROT Dee 


i gg $$ 
ae ere 
eae ene cD 


10 A Bunch of Roses. 


MEL. You bet I do. 
[During the song Mrs. Rose takes the L. front corner of 
stage, and the girls, in order, form a line diagonally 
to about the centre, up stage. MELROSE stands at R. 
Jront corner, partly turned toward them, except when 
he sings ‘*You bet I do,” which must be sung with 
face to audience, and a little wink. When the girls 
sing ‘‘ How-de-do?” they take hold of skirts with left 
hand, and make an old-fashioned courtesy, bending 
the knees each time. MRS. ROSE may sing or not as 
she pleases. After the song, all parasols are closed to- 
gether. 
MEL. Charmed, I’m sure, to meet so many lovely ladies. (Zo 
Mrs. ROsE.) You certainly have quite a family, ma’am. 
Mrs. R. Oh, wait until you have seen all of them. (Crosses to 
c.) Come right in, my Rosebuds. 


ENTER RosesuDs, chewing gum. All very awkward and 
uninteresting. 


Mrs. R. (crosses back to L.). These are my Rosebuds, Mr. Mel- 
rose, and I am sure you will find them very interesting children 
indeed. Their names are Lilly, Pansy, Violet, and Daisy. (Ché- 
dren grin and bow awkwardly.) You see, we have worked for the 
past two months on the wardrobe for our entertainment, and as long 
as we are here by ourselves, why not have a full-dress rehearsal ? 

MEL. Just the thing! Call me when you are ready. (Crosses 
fo rR.) Jll be anything from a chorus girl to a living picture. 
(EXIT, R.) 

Mrs. R. Now, girls, you sit down while 1 make our opening 
speech. 

[Girls stt in row of chairs, and the ROSEBUDS on the floor 
in front of them. 


OPENING SPEECH. 


(c.) Ladies and Gentlemen: I am so glad to see so many of 
you present to witness our entertainment for the benefit of the Free 
Ice Fund for the Philippine islanders. It is quite the thing among 
summer boarders to raise money for some charitable object by 
making public exhibitions of themselves and their accomplishments. 
My beautiful daughters are just like all the rest of the girls —they 
do so love to be before the public. They ave beautiful, as you 
must all own, and not one of them has yet had her little heart 
stolen away. So if there are any young gentlemen here who would 
like to make a selection, they may do so while the entertainment is 
going on. Without further remarks from me, we will sing our 
grand opening chorus. Both words and music were written espe- 
cially for this occasion. (Zo GIRLS.) Prepare yourselves. (7akes L. 
end of line.) [All the GIRLS rise, the ROSEBUDS standing in front, 


A Bunch of Roses. 1} 


SONG: ‘*TuNE, ‘* Tramp, Tramp, Tramp, the Boys are Marching.”’ 


If you will attention give, we will tell you, one and all, 
How it was we happened to come down this way ; 

We all hail from Kalamazoo, 

And before we bid adieu, 

You will think the Bunch of Roses very gay. 


CuHorus: We are all considered handsome, 
Rosy cheeks and teeth like pearls ; 
We’re a Bunch of Roses bright, 
And we sing both day and night, 
And we hope that you will like the Summer Girls, 


You have heard of us before — heard about the summer girls 
Who are not afraid to stay out after dark ; 

We all hail from Kalamazoo, 

Our minds made up what we will do; 

And we all intend to have a little lark. 


CHorus: Weare all considered handsome, etc. 


If there are any nice young men who admire Summer Girls, 
Just take notice of this Bunch of Roses bright ; 

We are each a gay coquette, 

And we have our hearts (Lands on hearts) as yet, 

But we all expect to lose them here to-night. 


CHorus: We are all considered handsome, etc. 


[Repeat chorus, all marching to the refrain. MRS. ROSE 
leads, followed by the GIRLS and then the ROSEBUDS. 
The march must be governed by the size of the stage 
and the discretion of the stage manager. As they march 
around to the R. entrance, all EXEUNT except Mrs. 
ROSE, PRUDENCE, PRISCILLA, avd PATIENCE, who 
march around and take thetr respective chairs. Para- 
sols can lie on the floor behind chairs. When all are 
seated, MRS. ROSE speaks. 

Mrs. R. Now, girls, remove your bonnets, and Ill try to find 
a spare bed to lay them away on. (AU remove bonnets and give 
them to Mrs. R.) Though, land o’ goodness, if our rooms and 
beds aren't ready, I don’t believe the spare bedroom is either. I'll 

o and see, anyway. While I am gone, you girls can get out your 
ancy work, and take a few stitches while the crowd’s gathering. 
(EX/T MRs. ROSE, wth bonnets, R.) 

[Girts all open bags and take out fancy work — the more 
ridiculous the work zs the better. 

PRUDENCE. Girls, did you notice what a sweet smile that nice 
young man gave me just as he went out? 

PATIENCE. No; but I noticed the naughty little wink that he 
gave me. I think he’s just too sweet to live. 


12 A Bunch of Roses. 


PRISCILLA. So do1; but I think I’ve got the inside track there, 
and IJ intend to bring all my charms to bear upon him. 

Prup. I think I'll crochet hima nice pair of yellow and red slip< 
pers. I know the young men just love to get slippers for presents, 

Pat. No, they don’t, either. They like something they can 
keep, and so I’m going to give him my tintype, and I know he’ 
carry it in his inside pocket, right over his heart. 

Pris. How foolish you are! (Azses.) You don’t know much 
about men, or you would know that the way to their hearts is 
through their stomachs. So I’m going to make him some of my 
soda biscuits. (X/7, R.) 

Pat. (calling after her). Don’t; if you do we sha’n’t have any 
young man here at all! 


ENTER MRs. ROSE, R. 


Mrs. R. (c.). Now, girls, we'll begin with our program; so 
be ready when your time comes. (Zo audience.) You see, we 
are going to depart from the usual way of starting a program with 
a piano solo. Most everybody does, so the people can talk with 
one another, and those who are late can come in without disturbing 
any one. Patience will entertain you with asong. She has sucha 
large stock of them, I can’t tell you just what it will be, but she will 
sing as the spirit moves her. Prepare yourselves. (Goes, L.) 

[PATIENCE rzses; advances to C.; stops as of thinking ; 
looks at pianist; raises four fingers; sings two verses 
of “The Old Folks at Home.” A? close she bows and 
sits down. Burlesque the song. Use funny gestures. 

Mrs. R. We will now exhibit a few copies of portraits of our 
family, taken from the old family album. Some people don’t be- 
lieve in having albums any more, but we do; and I wouldn’t part 
with mine for anything, if for no other reason than that the girls do 
so love to get it out and show it to their young men callers, and 
entertain them by telling who each one is, and all about them. 
Prudence, you and Patience can exhibit the pictures as I describe 
them. 

[Zhe girls take their places on each side of the curtains in 
the centre at back. In exposing the pictures, drape the 
curlains back, and hold them until ten is counted slowly. 
Then close together while the next picture ts being de- 
scribed. Repeat as before. 

Now, the first I would call to your notice is one of my mother, 
taken years ago. My, but she was a smart woman, and a powerful 
hand to work at fancy work and such like! This picture shows 
her in one of her favorite occupations. 

(Picture: Woman in calico dress, sleeves rolled up, tn act 
of washing clothes at washboard in tub. Front view. 
Can be represented by SALLY. ; 

Father was never much of a hand to hurt himself with over-work, 


A Bunch of Roses. 13 


for he generally enjoyed poor health most of the time. This picture 
is one that was so natural to mother, but I don’t remember much 
about it, for all I am in it myself. He used to do a great deal of 
running around nights. This shows him in one of his pleasant 
pastimes. 

(Picture; Man stands facing audience. yousers and 
shirt on; no collar ; one suspender hanging down ; hair 
ruffled up. On each arm is a baby in long dress and 
night-cap. Bottle in one hand marked ‘‘ Soothing 
Syrup.” Can be done by MELROSE. 

Aunt Maria always said she was too beautiful to be took in a pic- 
ture, though she was willing enough to be “took” by some man; 
but the right one never came along. She always said she wouldn't 
mind having her face carved in marble for a Museum of Fine Arts, 
but after a good deal of persuading on our part, she finally con- 
sented to pose for a photographer, with this result. Note the won- 
derful facial expression. 

(Picture: Old maid. Hair high on head, curls in front 
of ears; high comb, low-cut dress to make neck look 
long and thin. She stands with back to audience. 

The next is a picture of me when I was a little girl. Mother always 
said it was a good one, and looked so much like me that hardly 
anybody could tell whether it was me or my twin sister Samanthy 


eon (Picture: Small girl; short dress; pinafore, panta- 


lettes ; big, stiff sun-bonnet drawn down so as to cover 
the face completely. Stands facing audience. By 
smallest ROSEBUD. 
The next one is really no blood relation of ours, but she lived with 
us so long that she seemed just like one of the family. Some think 
there is a family resemblance, but I never could see it. 

[Picture: Woman facing audience; calico dress and 
apron, red bandanna kerchief on head, black false 
face and black gloves. Atypical Aunt Dinah. After 
pictures, the girls resume their seats. 

Prudence Lobelia will now give utterance to her feelings in a little 

recitation which, by the way, is very pathetic, and appeals to the 

hearts of everybody — especially the dear men. She wrote it her- 

self, and calls it ‘A Maiden’s Lament.” Prepare yourselves. 

(.Szts, L.) 

PRUDENCE LOBELIA v7ses, crosses to C., and bows; then recites the 
following. She must be very giddy. As she rises to recite, 
PATIENCE rises and goes out, R. 


A MAIDEN’S LAMENT. 


(Any comic recitation or monologue can be substituted here.) 


I’m dying for some one to love me ; 
I want him to call me his bird, 


14 


the latest up-to-date songs. 


A Bunch of Roses. 


His cuckoo, his own little ducky, 
And all the sweet names ever heard. 
I want to be called toot-sy woot-sy, 
I want to be squeezed and caressed, 
I want him to tell me he loves me, 
As I lean on his masculine chest. 


I want him to take me to picnics, 

To visit me once every day, 

Bring me peanuts and ice-cream and candy — 
To my heart he’d quite soon find a way. 

I’d nestle up closely beside him, 

I’d tell him I loved him the best ; 

And there, with my lips close to ‘‘ hisen,’? 
I’d kiss him till he couldn’t rest. 


I don’t see how the men can resist me, 
For all I’m so awfully shy ; 

I blush — now of course I can’t help it— 
Whenever a man passes by. 

At times I’m distressingly giddy, 

But when I’m fixed up in my best, 

I cut quite a notable figure, 

For I’m always so stylishly dressed. 


Aunt Mary thinks I am too giddy — 

I ‘‘ ought to stop talking of beaux ;”’ 

She says, ‘‘ All these men are deceitful, 
From their heads clear down to their toes.”’ 
But she’s an old maid over fifty ; 

With lovers she’s never been blest. 

So I want to get married — this minute — 
For old maids I simply detest. 


Now, I hope you will all understand me 
When I say I’m in want of a man; 

For I’m just like the rest of the ladies — 

I’m waiting to catch what I can. 

So, if any young man here before me 

Should to-night with my charms be impressed, 
Come right up — and before all these people, 
In your strong, loving arms I will rest. 


[Bows and EXIT, R., after recetving bouquet. 
Mrs. R. The Rosebuds will now entertain you with some of 
They are familiar to most of you, but 
if you wish to obtain printed copies, you can do so by applying to 
any of the girls after the performance. 


ENTER Pansy, R., dressed as Old Mother Hubbard 


PANSY (szugs). Zune, ‘Old Nursery Rhymes.” 


Old Mother Hubbard, she went to the cupboard, 
To get her poor doggie a bone ; 

When she got there, the cupboard was bare, 
And so the poor doggie had none. 


Prepare yourselves. 


A Bunch of Roses. 15 


ENTER LIit1y, R., dressed as Little Miss Muffett. 


LILLY (szugs): 
Little Miss Muffet, she sat on a tuffet, 
Eating her curd and whey ; 
There came a big spider and sat down beside her, 
And frightened Miss Muffett away. 
(Stands next to PANSY.) 


OLD NURSERY RHYMES. 


Arranged by LAURA LA GRANGE. 


ENTER VIO ET, R., dressed as Little Bo-Peep. 


VIOLET (szzgs). 
Little Bo-Peep has lost her sheep, 
And can’t tell where to find them ; 
Leave them alone and they’ll come home, 
Bringing their tails behind them. 


(Stands next to LILLY.) 


16 


A Bunch of Roses. 


ENTER DAISY, R., dressed as Little Boy Blue. 
DAISY (s7ugs). 
Little Boy Blue, come blow your horn, 
The sheep’s in the meadow, the cow’s in the corn ; 
Where’s the boy who looks after the sheep? 


(Adi sing.) 


Mrs. R. 


He’s under the haystack, fast asleep. 


(Stands next to VIOLET.) 


Old Mother Goose gives a party to-night, 
To all her children dear ; 

So all must come and join the fun, 

Her old heart we will cheer. 

Old Mother Hubbard and Little Miss Muffett 
Are both on a visit to-day ; 

And soon Jack Sprat, with his wife so fat, 
Are coming down this way. 

Little Jack Horner, who sat in a corner, 
And Little Bo-Peep so true, 

She’ll soon be seen upon the green 
Dancing with Little Boy Blue. 

Mistress Mary who’s quite contrary, 
Surely will appear, 

With Old King Cole, a jolly old soul, 
And St. Nick bringing up in the rear. 
Now Tommy Tucker is in for fun, 

And along with Tommy, Grace ; 

And Johnny Long sings a funny song 

As the fiddlers take their place. 

We’ll dance and sing, till the curfews ring, 
To our homes then one and all; 


(Separate here —two to each entrance.) 
And never forget when we all met 
At Mother Goose’s fancy ball. 
(EXEUNT, Rk. and L.) 
Little Sally Sparks has a little piece to speak for you. 


It has a moral to it. I will leave you to find it out for yourselves. 
(Calls.) Sally! (Zo audience.) Prepare yourselves, 


ENTER SALLY, who recites. 
SISTER ANN’S BEAU. 


My sister Ann has got a beau, 
Who comes on Sunday night, 
And keeps her up — oh, awful late! 
I wonder if it’s right? 
One night he came to call on her, 
I hid behind a chair, 
And saw him kiss and hug her tight, 
Not knowing I was there, 


A Bunch of Roses. 17 


First time I ever knew a chair 
Was big enough for two ; 
But I saw him take her on his knee, 
And says ‘‘ Oh, I lub you! ”’ 
Sis’ acted awful bashful like ; 
I knew ’twas all put on, 
For she had had a beau before, 
And knew just how ’twas done. 
Then with a fire-cracker large, 
I hit upon a plan 
To have some fun with my big sis’, 
And also her young man. 
I don’t suppose ’twas right to peek 3 
- But p’rhaps when I’ve a beau, 
I’ll likely have to do the same — 
And I thought I ought to know. 
Now, when she called him tootsy-wootz, 
And he called her a bird, 
I let that fire-cracker go — 
The biggest noise you ever heard. 
Of course they jumped, he grabbed at me, 
And ’cross his knee I laid ; 
Enough’s been said — my sister Ann 
Is still a sour, cross old maid. 
(Pause.) And she says I’m the cause of it all. (2X77, R.) 

[NoTE: Other selections, vocal or instrumental music, 
or recttations, may be introduced here at the discretion 
of the stage manager. 

Mrs. R. As a closing number to our entertainment, we will, with 
your kind permission, present for the first time in your city (or any 
other) a new Comic Operetta which was written for us, under Pen- 
elope’s direction, by the well-known composers, Silbert and Gulli- 
van, and is considered their latest success. It is entitled ‘‘ Johnny 
Jones ;” and, like all other operettas, it abounds with pretty girls, 
gorgeous costumes, bright music, and last, but not least, a plot; 
that is, they said there was one, but we have not been able to find 
it yet. If anybody should happen to discover it wandering around 
anywhere, we will pay a liberal reward to the finder after the per- 
formance. The audience is requested not to make too much noise 
looking for it. The finale is a grand, stirring, patriotic medley in 
which we want you all to join. After the overture we will proceed. 
Prepare yourselves. (ZX/7, R.) 

[NoTE: Here a piano solo may be introduced while the 
performers are getting ready for the **Opera.” The 
idea of this bit of burlesque ts that there ts positively 
no sense or plot in the whole thing — it being a ‘‘ take- 
off ” on so many of the popular operas that are either 
devoid of plot or have scarcely enough to hold them 
together. The girls may dress in pretty outing sutts. 


18 A Bunch of Roses. 


“JOHNNY JONES.” 
A BURLESQUE OPERETTA IN ONE ACT. 
ScENE.— Any old place. Time.— Last week. CostTumEs.— Up to Date, 
CAST OF CHARACTERS. 


Miss BoGcGs .. .« af feiksiaceks joke NETS. ©EROGE, 
BESSIB Shc 5 es a AE RMGRDD On ticls Meinl te aa ie aed NOG Ce, 
JESSIE 505s Pate > Voge oie Bde 7-9 oo aes tee eee ee a ee 
SUE tea a oes n titg Me a ay on Me oe gee EES CRELES 
MABEL io bie? So Ld et oe noe Be te ead a chia eee eel te nea 
MAUD Faro edie a eint to cs RR Te Meer eins SE OLL Ye 
BRIDGETA -MALONA Gis.) seu ane cbs die ire See ae 


JOHNNY JONES AOL ERT Sent h teg Se ae ee eer Oges 

NEIGHBORS, FRIENDS, AND KIDs. 

Tune, ‘‘ John Brown’s Body,” after prelude. The girls sing two 
lines outside, and then ENTER, R. Each one has a letter in 
her hand. They stand tn line and sing verse and chorus, after 
which they separate, R. and L. 


SONG. 
Tune, ‘* Fohn Brown’s Body.’ 


We’ve run away from boarding-school, 
We'll not go back again ; 

Our teachers are unkind to us, 
We look for fun in vain. 

We study very hard all day, and so when night has come 
We always want some fun. 


CHorus: We are all light-hearted maidens, 
Always laughing, bright and gay ; 
We are hoping, waiting, watching, 
For a man to come this way. 


BEssiE. Well, girls, now that we have run away, what are we 
going to do? 
Jesste. I think we'd better read our letters first. 
ALL. Of course — our letters! 
Bes. Hush! Some one approaches. (Looks R.) 
Jes. Who can it be? 
SuE. Perhaps it’s the teacher, Miss Boggs. 
MAuD. May be it’s a man. 
MABEL. Or some awful wild animal. 
Bes. No— (singing outside) —’tis a female woman. Listen — 
she sings. 
BRIDGETA (outside; sings. Tune, ‘‘ Wearing of the Green”). 
Oh, Paddy dear, an’ did ye hear 
The news that’s goin’ around? 
The shamrock is by law forbid 
To grow on Irish ground, 


A Bunch of Roses. 19 


An’ no more St. Patrick’s Day we’ll kape, 
The color can’t be seen; 
(ENTER, R.; crosses to C.) 


For they’re hangin’ men and women 
For the wearing av the Green. 


(Looks around at the girls.) 

ALL. Why, it’s only Bridgeta! 

Brip. Shure, an’ who did ye think it was? 

Jes. We didn’t know but it might be a man. 

Bes. Or Miss Boggs, come to take us back to school. 

Jes. Has she left her room yet? 

Brip. Yis, an’ comin’ this way. I thought, by the way she was 
puttin’ the powder on her face, she moight be expectin’a gintleman 
to see her. 

ALL. A young man here — oh, no! 

Maup. An unheard-of thing in these parts. 

Brip. Why don’t ye read yer letters before she comes? [I'll 
watch out. (Crosses toR., and EXIT.) 

Bes. A good idea. 

[All stand in a row in the following order, from L. to R.: 
BESSIE, JESSIE, SUE, MABEL, MAubD. ead letters. 


SONG: Tung, ** Zramp, Tramp, Tramp, the Boys are Marching.’’ 
BES. (sings). 

Dearest Bess, if you don’t mind, 
JES. (sings). 

I will see you, sure, to-night ; 

But don’t let the others know that I am there ; 
SUE (sigs). 

For I want to see you, Sue ; 
MAB. (sings). 

Meet me, Mabel, just at two ; 
MAUD (sings). 

Oh, you dearest little Maud, you are so fair. 
BES. (szugs). 

It’s from Mr. Johnny Jones. 

I will meet him, yes, alone. 


JES. (simgs). 

No one else will ever know that he has come. 
SUE (sings). 

Johnny wants to see his Sue, 
MAB. (sings). 

Soon his Mabel he can woo, 


20 A Bunch of Roses, 


MAUD (szugs). 
Now I’m happy, for I am the only one. 
CHORUS. 
ALL (szuzg). 
We will each one have a sweet-heart, 
Johnny Jones at last has come ; 
And before the autumn day 


Shall forever pass away, 
All our little hearts will surely then be won, 


ENTER, BRIDGETA, R. 


Brip. Here comes Miss Boggs! 

Bes. She mustn’t see these letters. (4/1 put letters out of 
sight.) Whom was yours from, Jessie? 

Jes. Oh, a lovely young man by the name of Jones. 

SUE. Jones! 

Mas. Why, my letter was from Mr. Jones! 

MaAupb. So was mine! 

Bes. And mine, too! How many of the Jones family are com- 
ing, I wonder? 


ENTER Miss BoGGs, rR. She zs very ugly, and dressed very 
giddily. 

Miss Boccs. Only one that I know of. I have just received a 
letter from him, telling me he would call here to-day. It seems 
that he has seen me when I was out for my morning walk, and that 
I have made quite an impression upon him. 

AutL. Is his name Johnny Jones? 

Miss B. Yes, Johnny Jones. 


SONG: TuNE, ‘‘ ohn Brown’s Body.”’ 
ALL. 


The Johnny Jones are coming, coming here to-day, 

Hope that we will like them, hope they’ve come to stay 3 
Hope they won’t be bashful, hope they will be gay, 

And we will have some fun. 


CuHoRus: Johnny Jones, you are my sweet-heart, 
You’re the one I want to see ; 
Johnny Jones, I love you dearly — 
You're the only Jones for me. 


Miss B. Now, girls, I think you had better go and leave me 
here alone, for I am expecting a gentleman visitor. 

BEs. Iam expecting one, too. 

Jes. And I! 

ALL. And I! 

BES. So, you see, we are going to stay right where we are. 


A Bunch of Roses. yh 


ENTER BRIvDGETA, with tray and six visiting-cards. Each girl 
takes one. 


ALL. Mr. Johnny Jones. 

Miss B. Did they all come together? 

BRIDGETA. Mum? 

Miss B. Did the Mr. Joneses all arrive at the same time? 

Brip. Shure, an’ did ye think he would come in sections? 

Bes. You don’t understand; we mean all together. 

Brip. Well, as far as I could see, ’twas all together, but I think 
there’s a screw loose somewhere. 

ALL. A screw loose? 

Brip. Yis; fer such a quare lukin’ chap Oi niver saw in all me 
loife. 

Miss B. Bridgeta, show them in. 

Brip. Thim! (Cvosses R.) Shure, an’ Oi thought ‘twas an 
“it.” (EXIT, R.) 

Miss B. Now, girls, as they’re all arrived at the same time, we 
will entertain them together. I wonder if they are all good looking? 

BrID. (outstde). Av ye do be sure yez are all together, yez can 
go roight in. 

[Prelude to song as JOHNNY JONES ENTERS, R. He 
crosses to C., and sings. Tune, ‘‘ How-de-do?” 


SONG. 
JONES. 

I’m Johnny Jones of Timbuctoo, 
How-de-do? How-de-do? 

I’ve just dropped in to speak to you, 
How-de-do? How-de-do? 

The girls all say tra-la-la-loo 

When they all met me at the Zoo. 

They think I’ve got the money, too; 

So do you — 


GIRLS AND Miss B. Of course we do. 


Joneses like me are very few, 
How-de-do? How-de-do? 

That’s why I have come to woo, 
How-de-do? How-de-do? 

As you are all from Kalamazoo, 

And I’m a Jones from Timbuctoo, 

Nothing can our meeting rue — 
How-de-do? 


GIRLS AND MIss B. How-de-do? 
Miss B. Where are the others? 

JONES. Others? 

Bes. Yes—the rest of you. 

JONES. Excuse me— I’m all here. 


22 ; A Bunch of Roses. 


Miss B. Are you the one who sent me this lovely note? 

Jones. I guess I must have sent you all one. 

Bes. You sent them all? 

Jones. Yes; but I wasn’t aware that you all lived here together. 

Miss B. How did you learn our names? 

Jones. Why, I just told a young fellow that I wanted to know 
the names of some marriageable young ladies ; and he said he could 
give me some. He said von were all very rich, and every one of 
you looking for a husband. And as I am looking for a wife — 

Miss B. Yes! yes! 

Jones. And as I was looking for a wife — 

ALL (rushing to him). Are you looking for a wife? 

Jones. Yes; but you see I want only one. 

Bes. Iam sure you could learn to love me. 

Jes. You don’t know how divinely I can sing. 

Maupb. And I can play the harmonica so sweetly. 

Sue. And I can write such beautiful poetry. 

Mas. And I can sew on buttons and make the best of biscuit. 

Miss B. Young ladies, remember that you are only school-girls, 
and not old enough to think of marriage yet. Young man (crosses 
to him), Jam the one you seek. I can make you happy. You are 
just my ideal of a husband. I like your manners and your intelli- 
gence; so without saying any more about it, you may claim me as 
your bride. 

ALL. His bride! 

Jones. But my dear madame — 

Miss B. Oh, you dear man! (Arms around his neck.) Ihave 
you at last! Youare all mine! (Pause.) Kiss me. 

Jones. Is this Fate, or is it— ? 

Miss B. Happiness! Blissful happiness at last! 

Jones. Am I really all yours. 

Miss B. All! All! 

Jones. Then I must be resigned to my fate. 

Bes. But how about the rest of us? 

JONES. I have several brothers — 

ALL (rush to him). Where are they? 

Jones. All home. Mother doesn’t allow them out o’ nights. 

ALL. Then we are bereft! 

oe I think I must have strayed, for I’m sure I’ve been 
stolen. 

Miss B. Are you a true American? 

JONES. Yes, and a Jones. 

Miss B. Do you love the stars and stripes? Would you fight 
for them? (TZragically.) 

Jones. Yes. (Very heroic.) I ama Jones. 

Miss B. (takes his arm). We will marry to-morrow, and go to 
our palatial home in Jonesville. And now, as long as everything is 
settled, we may as well be happy. I have anticipated this for some 

9 


A Bunch of Roses, 23 


time, and as we are all true-hearted American citizens, let us join in 
singing the old and stirring melody ‘‘ Columbia, the Gem of the 
Ocean ;” and may you all be as happy as I am in becoming Mrs. 
JOHNNY JONES. 


[Separate so as to leave centre of stage open to show pic- 


CHORUS : 


ture. ENTER ROSEBUDS; they stand in front. Two 


girls go up to raise curtains ; others group themselves 


around stage. MISS BOGGS and JONES standing to- 


gether. All sing. 


SONG: TuNE, ‘‘Auld Lang Syne.” 


Before we bid you all adieu, 

And to your homes you go ; 

We’ll show to you an old-time friend, 
Her features you will know. 

And when you see Columbia stand, 
To show to her you’re true, 

Join in the chorus as we sing, 

The red, the white, the blue. 


FINAL SONG. 
** Columbia, the Gem of the Ocean,” 


[Audience to join in chorus. 


Oh, Columbia, the Gem of the Ocean, 
The home of the brave and the free, 
The shrine of each patriot’s devotion, 
The world offers homage to thee. 
Thy mandates make heroes assemble 
When Liberty’s form stands in view, 
Thy banners make tyranny tremble 
When borne by the red, white, and blue. 


When borne by the red, white, and blue, 

When borne by the red, white, and blue, 

The Army and Navy forever — 

Three cheers for the red, white, and blue. 


[Repeat Chorus. At first chorus the curtains separate, 


Showing statue of *‘Columbia.” This may be imper- 
sonated by PENELOPE, who has plenty of time to change 


for tt. Costume: white clinging drapery; bare arms; 


hair flowing ; crown, large flag in right hand. All 
turn toward COLUMBIA as the curtain descends on 


second chorus. 


THE END. 


PHYLLIS’'S INHERITANCE — 


A Comedy in Three Acts, by Frank H. Bernard 
PRICE 25 CENTS 
CHARACTERS 


PHILIP MORNINGSIDE, a promising New York Attorney. 
Major PutLanpER Mumrorp, a Veteran of ’61. 
Pierre Marguetre, of Paris and New York. 
Patrick Moongy, M. P., Secretary of the Home Rule Association, 
Prrer Martin, a timid young man with a desire to be ‘‘sporty.” 
Paut Marvet, a private detective. 
Puyiiis Morwninesipve, Philip’s up-to-date wife with ambitions. 
PHoEBE MarTINGALE, has been a widew on four occasions. 
PENELOPE MuMForp, a veritable “butter-in” at all times. 
Patrice Mumrorp, her only child. She has just “come eut.” 
ANGELA 
ee Trio of Vassar “bright lights.” 
MY 
Pansy, a housemaid ef the “fresh” variety. 
PATIENCE, who also assumes “‘demestic” affairs. 
Two Scenes, One INTERIOR AND ONE BxXTERIOR. 
TIME oF REPRESENTATION—Two hours. 


Phyllis, wife of Philip, is to inherit the fortune of a deceased East 
Indian uncle, provided she marries his adopted son, who presumably is about 
to visit her. Being already married and most desirous of obtaining the 
fortune, she conceals the matter from her husband. Two men call upon 
her bearing introductory letters which she does not read, supposing each in 
turn to be the adopted son. The subterfuges she invents to account for 
their presence lead to many perplexing mistakes, which are finally satis- 
factorily arranged when it transpires that her husband is identified as the 
adopted son. 


THE RED ROSETTE 


A WESTERN DRAMA IN THREE ACTS, BY GORDON V. MAY 


PRICE 25 CENTS 


A typical drama of the Far West. The Major in command of a military 
fort advertises in New York papers for a wife, and elicits a response from 
a rich middle-aged lady. As a means of identification, each is to wear a red 
rosette. The lady arrives accompenied by her niece. The rosettes get 
into other hands, resulting in complications both ludicrous and serious. The 
niece is abducted and rescued by a young officer, a previous West Point 
acqtaintance. The results are obvious. This play offers fine opportunities 
for character parts, and is replete with startling situations. 


CHARACTERS 


Major PuILaNpDER Braces, who owns one rosette.......,.+-+,.. Character 
Miss OpwEria Skipper, who owns the ppposirs rosette, ..-,+.--..-Old Lady 
Lieut. Puirip Maney, who gets the Major’s rosette.,.....-s++++--- Lead 
Cuarz Brooks, who gets the other rosette... ..ccseseececserr cere ye Lead 
Rosert RutHvan, who gets into trouble..........sesvevecesoee ee +e HEAVY 
Danpy Davis, who gets his desertS......sevecserrreserseryeeere+s Heavy 
Tom Scott, Sheriff, who gets hie MAN..-csereersrereceveseees Otraignt 
ns Bow ty, who gets some boarderS.....c. cece e cee cne se cceess Straight 

ty Bow.ey, who gets Tom Scott...-..cseeeeeees Side nad biahaoah Ingenue 

Tirex Scpnes, Two Inter1ok and One Expprror. 


Time o¢ REPRESENTATION—T we hours, 


A DOCTOR BY COURTESY 


A Farce in Three Acts, by Ullie Akerstrom 
PRICE 25 CENTS 


CHARACTERS 

Dr. Jos. Sry, a physician (?)........... veh db delves wcledvus «Light Comedy 
Henar Duvar, a French merchant......csscccscccsccecescecess Character 
Cwas. Jenxins, Sly’s father-in-law.......0.see.s+s0.+-+-Comedy old man 
Freppigk West, a dude..... Werte hn BARPENE ato havexnie ecueca. bre" Shctara varain atere Character 
PAPCRARL, (AIO T Soca ee ic can wales escobence seeds stove cdtian Character 
POLICEMAN, one of the finest. 

FLoRETTE Duvat, Dival’seWitew. coe ss sleheterwinters Gk w scl ictaye a a pier Lead 
BMALS SLY oly Oe Wiles os che brian wees ean CIO wre tooo Oe Juvenile 
MARTHA JENKINS, Jenkins’s wife............ in eae Pattheate Old woman 
Ipa Gayeirt, of the ballet........... Bieta wis. cretebl ace Sethi e wate cette Soubrette 
GRETCHEN, Florette’s maid servant.......... aici eta on see Gcharacten 

Two INTERIOR ScENES.—TIME OF REPRESENTATION—Two hours. 
SYNOPSIS 


Act I.—Sitting-room in Sly’s office. Mr. Jenkins resorts to heroic 
measures to boom his son-in-law’s medical practice. Two women prepare a 
trap. Old associates draw Sly into folly. Clouds begin to gather. 


Act II.—Room in the house of Monsieur Duval. Florette’s physician 
(by proxy) arrives. A startling prescription. Matters become worse and 
worse. A jealous husband and three doctors (?) 

Act IIfI.—Same as Act I. The ‘“‘green-eyed monster’? appears in the 
Sly family. The story of a scratched face and a shower-bath. Explana- 
tions restore harmony, and Dr. (?) Sly retires from active work. 


COLLEGE CHUMS 


A COMEDY OF COLLEGE LIFE iN THREE ACTS, BY ANTHONY E. WILLS 


PRICE 25 CENTS 


A realistic sketch of College life and its influence. Wallace, an in- 
dolent aimless young man, on entering college is hazed by fellow collegiates, 
led on by Thorne, the bully of his class. He turns on the bully and thrashes 
him soundly. Out of revenge, he is so ingeniously accused of theft by the 
bully, that the crime appears to carry conviction. Finally the real thief 
exonerates him and the bully is expelled. There are some very funny 
passages between two opposing veterans of the war, and in the love making 
of a German professor. In due course the inevitable young lady comes 
on the scene with the usual results. A capital play, full of interest through- 
out. 


CHARACTERS 
FranKtyn Ristry, Dean of the University.........eeccccceses Character 
FRIEDERICH VON WEBER, Professor of German........--eeeeeeees Character 
WALTACHEPINDLAYs Solhe Babes aici << 4c. ciclare ately, ho 0:0 ecbuei'e\elese 8) aielarsynns Lea 
TOWAHDAMORNE ee He SBallivy’ ys iekevajeievs’s.+ ies, 010.6 wrobein wiles 0 eleveiel eele \opeqsagce Heavy 
ArtHuR Kincspury, Capt. of College Team......-. esse cece eeeeees Straight 
PAut)D1issc0Rk, Ai SOPWOMOLE » 60 Gas os oo sae daslagers > «vteiana-vecatraignt 
CurFrForp Paice, manager of College Team........-seeeeeseeveeves Straight 
Joun Finptay, Wallace’s father. ... 0... cece sene cee ececeeececes Character 
ALEc, an old colored attendant.........ecseececersscerencvaces Character 
Mrs. Atmira Dinsmore, Paul’s mother.......-.sesesesseeeces Old Lady 
Gaice’ Dinsmore, her . datighter. wi. s,. 0 cp wines ote can wee ees eee clwaes Lea 
Tony SpraGuE, the watchman’s daughter........-.--seeeeeeeeeees Ingenue 


One INTERIOR STAGE-SETTING-—TIME OF REPRESENTATION—I wo hours. 


Plays for Female Characters 


CHEERFUL COMPANION, A 15cents. A duologue fortwo female 

eS adapted from a Character Sketch by Ina Leon Cassiuis. Parlor seeste. 

me, 2s minutes. A lady of refinement advertised fora cheerful, musical companion, 

a good reader. She has oné applicant, who proves to be tearfully doleful, garrulous 

ore disappointed love failures,and an unmitigated bore. A fine scope for character 
elineation. 


CRANFORD DAMES. 15 cents. A play for 8 or 14 female charac- 


ters, by ALiczE ByINGTON, 2 interior scenes. Costumes of sixty ears ago. Time 
of playing, 1% hours, A clever adaptation of Mrs. Gaskell’s “* Cranford,’ which 
is perhaps one of the finest pieces of humoristic writing within the entire range of 
English fiction. The delicate pathos, the subtle humor, the quaint atmosphere of the 
beok have been well preserved in the play, and the result is a series of episodes almost 
wholly devoid of that element called plot, but possessed, none the less, of a charm that 
cannot fail to please the audience. The piece is easily managed, and will provea 
strong attraction for young ladies’ representations. 


GERTRUDE MASON, M.D.; or, The Lady Doctor. 15 cents. 


A farce in 1 act for 7 female characters, by L. M. C. ArMstronG. Plain room scene 
er no scene at all. Rens 30 minutes. An exceedingly bright piece for young ladies, 
n which young Dr. Gertrude, already a victim of circumstances, is made the victim 
of a practical joke. The scenes with Mrs. Van Style, who mistakes the doctor for a 
pawnbroker, and Miss Jane Simpkins, who brings a sick dog to be cured, are hilari- 
ous, while Nora, an Irish cook, is deliciously droll. The cook is the star of the 
piece, but all the personages are vivacious and every situation bristles with fun. 


LOVE AND A WAY. 158cents. A comedy in 3 acts and 1 scene, by 


EveLyn Simms. 4 female characters. Scene, a sitting-room. Time, 1% hours, 
Phyllis, a young girl, loving and beloved by Jack Pemberton, a rich young man, 
refuses to marry him because her maiden aunts consent and every one wishes it. 
(< is reported to have lost his fortune, and now she wants to marry /acé, with whom 

er aunts forbid any communication. By the aid of her friend Beatrice an elopement 
is planned and carried out, and a most surprising climax is sprung upon the audience. 


MAIDENS ALL FORLORN. 15 cents. A comedy in 3 acts and 


1 scene, by EvELYN Simms. 6female characters. Scene, a parlor in a seaside cottage. 
Time, 1% hours. Three young girls chafing under the monotony of a man-forsaken 
resort, write 7eddy to come and visit them. 7Zeddy cannot come, but answers that 
his friend Dr. Jocelyn Dendy will come and help while away the time. Great 
preparations are made for his reception, including much interest by a Maiden Aunt. 
Each prepares a present to bestow on the Doctor, and feigns an ailment to interest 
him. The Doctor arrives—a woman. The climax, deftly worked out, is sprung on 
the audience at the last moment, and insures the play a complete success. The char- 
acters are all good, the Maiden Aunt and Mrs. Madoney are great character parts. 


MURDER WILL OUT. 15 cents. A farceinx act, for 6 female 


characters, by L. M. ELwyn. Time, 30 minutes. A breezy and effective farce, in 
which half a dozen bright girls can delight an audience with half an hour of innocent fun. 
Grandmother Stiles and her demure but frolicsome granddaughter are excellent charac- 
ters; Dinah, the colored cook, is amusing, and Bridget O’ Flaherty isa funny Irish 
girl—her quarrel with Dzxak being exceedingly laughable. The attempts of Lexa 
and her merry friends, May and Minnie, to hoodwink the old lady, and their final 
exposure, will keep the audience in a ripple of laughter. No scenery required. 


SOCIAL ASPIRATIONS. 15cents. A comedy in z act and 2 scenes, 


by HELEN SHERMAN GRIFFITH. 5 female characters. Bedroom scene afterwards 
transformed into a parlor. Plays about 45 minutes. A highly entertaining comedy in 
which Mrs. Chick and her two daughters from the United States are in Paris, bent on 
an extended tour, but meet with a Countess, who proposes to introduce them into 
fashionable society. They feel flattered and make a great fuss over the Countess, 
who turns out to be a lady’s maid dressed in her mistress’ finery, and is betrayed by 
the housemaid of the Jemsion. Disillusionment and exciting climax. 


MY AUNT’S HEIRESS. 15 cents. A comedy in z act. rz female 
characters. Parlor scene. Modern costumes. Time,1 hour. Hasa “Cinderella” 
sort of ot in which a rich widow adopts a ruse to decide which of her seven nieces 
shall inherit her fortune. It shows that envy and jealousy don’t pay, and that striv- 
ing to make pect bi y ia the best way to gain happiness for ourselves, Two ef 
she characters tam i @u6 girl, No scenery required. 


Vaudeville Sketches 


BERNSTEIN AND FIRESTEIN., 15 cents. A vaudeville sketch 


in Hebrew dialect for 2 male characters, by James F. Parsons. Time, about 15 
minutes. Exceedingly funny both in ludicrous topics, Sheeney hits and droll repartee ; 
concluding with the song ‘Oh, My! Von’t We Make der Money!” for which the 
text and music are given. 


TWO WANDERING JEWS. 15 cents. A vaudeville sketch in 


Hebrew dialect, for 2 male characters, by HARRY E. SHELLAND, Time, about 15 min- 
utes, Full of funny and catchy dialogue and repartee, and ending with a song. 


NEW CHAUFFEUR, The. 15 cents. A vaudeville automobile skit, 


for 2 male characters, by Harry E. SHELLAND. Time, about 15 minutes, A Dutch 
brewer hires an ignorant Irishman for chauffeur. A terrible catastrophe and a racy 
dialogue in which Pa? gets the better of the Dutchman. Just too funny and leading 
up to dialect minstrelsy. 


MULDOON AND THE NIGGER; or, White and Black. 18 


cents. A dialect vaudeville Sketch for two males, by H. E. SHELLAND. Muldoon, 
an Irish stage-manager, meets very suddenly Johnson, a darkey, whom he wished to 
engage as an actor in a Mephistopheles drama. After a lot of funny characteristic 
talk, they rehearse Johnson's part. After some ridiculous attempts at highfalutin’ 
tragedy, partly in very blank verse, Johnson collapses. They close with a song. 


MA’S NEW BOARDERS. 15 cents. A farcical sketch in x act, by 


W. C. PARKER. 4 male, 4 female characters. Mrs. Holdtight leaves her boarding- 
house in her daughter’s charge. Prof. Alto-Gether calls a rehearsal of the village 
choir, but gives them the wrong address. The choir turn up at Mrs. H.'s and ars 
mistaken for new boarders. Then follows an uproarious series of incidents that end in 
the Professor's round-up. Can be played ‘‘straight,” or with specialties, Excellent 
chance for single or edule quartette. No scenery required. Time, 30 minutes. 


PAPA’S BULLDOG. 115 cents. A farcical sketch in 1 act, by W. C, 


PARKER. 1 male, 1 female character. The hero tries to ‘*coach”’ his sweetheart in 

some private theatricals. Her ignorance exasperates him so completely that a furioua 
uarrel ensues. Unexpected consequences convince each that the other is crazy, and 

the fun is brought to a cyclonic climax by the intervention of Papa’s bulldog. The 
iece can be played “ straight,’’ or specialties may be introduced. Time, 30 minutes. 
o scenery required. 


AFTER THE BALL. 115 cents. A vaudeville character sketch in 1 


act, by Harry E. SHELLAND. 1 male, x female character. Scene, a plain interior. 
Time, 20 minutes or longer, according to specialties introduced. A bright dialogue 
between a youth and girl of the old Bowery pattern, with disjointed remarks and rep- 
artee while dancing the two-step, and afferding opportunity for song and dance or 
other specialties. 


POINT OF VIEW, The. 15 cents. A sprightly comedy sketch, by 
Beit Ex.viotr PaAtmer. 1 male and 1 female character; time of representation, 20 
minutes, in which Elixor Jardine tries to convince Fred Winston, to whom she is 
shortly to be married, that her conduct in regard to a former rejected suitor, although 
unconventional, is entirely justifiable. Fred confesses to a similar but pretended pro- 

ing with another young lady. /inor’s jealousy is so aroused that she calls down 
the engagement, He then proves that his flirtation is assumed merely to convince her 
that her Joint of view is absurdly untenable, a fact which she is gladly compelled to 
admit. Reconciliation follows, of course. An illustration of the feminine ‘* because”’ 
eutwitted by masculine strategy. 


PROFESSOR’S TRUANT GLOVES, The. 15 cents. A comedy 


sketch, by Bert Evtiotr Parmer. 1 male and x female character. Time of repre- 
sentation, 20 minutes. A charmingly elaborated duologue, showing how a young lady 
of extremely womanly discernment smooths the way to a declaration of love from a 
eee unaccustomed to women’s ways, and so terribly bashful and diffident, that he mis- 

terprets all she says and does, A fetching example of womanly tact and diplomacy. 


Plays for Male Characters 


WIDOW’S PROPOSALS, The. 15 cents. A farce in 1 act, by W. 


D. Fe.rer. 3 male characters—one impersonating an old woman, which is the lead- 
ing part. No scenery required. Time of playing, 30 minutes. An episode from 
i The ott Papers”’ that admits of low-comedy treatment, so that a suceession of 
giggles will greet its performance from first to last. The author has produced this skit 
at scores of entertainments, and never yet failed to bring down the house with it. 


APRIL FOOLS. 15 cents, A farce in x act, for 3 male oharacters, hy W. 
F. CHAPMAN. Time, 30 minutes. For a half hour of roaring fun this farce has few 
equals, It is brisk, bright and full of funny situations, and the characters are exceed- 
ingly well contrasted. Each imagining that the others are foolish, crazy or drunk, 
mfsunderstandings follow one another in rapid succession until, when everything is in 
a hopeless tangle, it is discovered that all three are the victims of a practical joker, who 
has made ‘‘April Fools’’ of them. No scenery required. 


WANTED, A MAHATMA. 15 cents. A comic sketch in 1 act, 


for 4 male characters, by Gorpon V. May. 1 interior scene. Professor Astralile, a 
fortune-teller, is in bad luck. Squire Babcock offers him a hundred dollars for a 
Mahatma. His friend, Frisby, an adventurer, disguises himself as a Mahatma. 
Squire puts his wallet on table. The temptation is too much for Frisby, who grabs 
the wallet. A struggle—the disguise falls off. Exposure and escape. 


HOLY ‘TERROR, A. 15 cents. A farce in 1 act by O. WENLANDT. 


4 male characters—either white or black face. Plain room scene or no sceye at all, 
Costumes to suit, except that of one character who is rigged out as a howling ‘‘ swell.” 
Plays 30 minutes. Specialties can be introduced according to convenience and talent. 
The piece will make an audience laugh till they’re tired. 


WANTED, A CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 15 cents. A farce 


in rt act, by W. F. Cuapman. 6male characters, viz.: eccentric merchant with a 
weakness for proverbs, comic Irishman, ‘‘ dude,” talkative ‘‘sport,’’ shabby genteel 
“bummer” and the clerk who gets the situation. No scenery required. Time, 
39 minutes. A capital farce with scope for easy charaeter acting, full of ridiculous 
situations, racy dialogue, comical ‘‘business’’ and spirited action. Shows a mer- 
chant’s difficulty in securing a satisfactory clerk, and creates unlimited merriment. 


MANAGER’S ‘TRIALS, A. 15 cents. A farce in x act, by A. L. 


Fisuer, for 9 male characters, viz.: theatrical manager, darky servant, ‘‘ tough,” 
dude, stage-struck Dutchman, crushed tragedian, Irish policeman, and 2 comic female 
réles (‘‘high kicker’’ and old maid) to be played by male actors. Danzel Slowman 
advertises for afew more people for the “ Fly by Night Folly Co.”” His encounters with 
the various stage-struck applicants who respond will make a mummy laugh. The piece 
is rich in opportunities for easy but telling character acting for 9 boys or young men, 


“MEDI -”’ 18cents. A farcein x act, by W. K. Eneie. 7 male char- 
acters—2 darkeys, 5 white faces. Scene, a doctor’s office. Costumes to suit. Time, 
35 Minutes. Runs with a snap from beginning to end—there isn’t a slow part in it— 
and is sure to please. When originally played by the Amphion Minstrels, it elicited 
continuous screams of laughter from a delighted audience, It will bring down the 
house wherever played. 


SNOBSON’S STAG-PARTY. 15 cents. A farce in x act, by 


Levin C. Tees. 12 male characters, including 2 female impersonators. Parlor 
scene. Runs about 1 hour if played “straight’’; can be lengthened with ‘‘ special< 
ties’? (which are provided for) according to talent. In giving his party Sxodson 
invites the guests at random from the city directory. The guests arrive, including 
two ladies—white and black—who get in by mistake, and a hot old time ensues. 
Finally, 2222 Badlotbox comes in with a brass band and a political delegation, and the 
fun culminates in a regular war dance. The cast includes acrusty old gent, ga 
youth, “‘coon,” Dutchman, Irishman, Dago, Cockney, wench, Teh women toug! 
citizen, crushed tragedian, ward politician. The piece will fetch incessant roars of 
laughter, and can be made the medium of all kinds of “ specialties.” 


MISCHIEVOUS BOB. 15 cents. A comic drama intr act, fer 6 male 
characters. Plain room scene. ‘Time, 40 minutes. A taking farce tor boys, marked 
by a serious, and even pathetic, as well as comic interest. The characters are true 
te nature, and the moral gilded with genuine humor, 806 should be played by a 

boy ; tie size of the others is unimportant. 


: 


SFSSF>32° 399999999909999299990220990209, 


COMEDIES AND DRAMAS 
15 CENTS EACH 
MY AWFUL DAD. Comedy that always makes a brilliant hit; 3 acts: 


MOUEE deVaede! esc ovenss sees akg Win & sewee your Ts aie caeh ean eh capes ee 
NIGHT IN TAPPAN, A. Farce comedy; excessively funny and sure to 
Be EMG Tee OE TRGUE Said isle o's calc bint oxo o tio'e d cove ce t's Oke co nice tks Cian vanes 
NOT SO BAD on leas ne Comedy ; sometimes plays as ‘‘ Is Marriage 
SRO Cee AMES be TREO buy viv Won eK KaE eON Daas ees ded” Fas aS ens s 
NOT SUCH A FOOL es HE LOOKS. Comedy; one of the best ex- 
amples of modern farcical comedy ever written; 3 acts; 2% hours........ 
OUR BOYS. Comedy; always succeeds; 3 acts; 2 Gout Saal dalewons me oho & 
OUT IN THE STREETS. Drama. Wherever this play is presented it is 
received with the greatest enthusiasm ; 3 acts; 1 hour..............0ee00- 
PAIR OF IDIOTS, A. Up- to-date society comedy, with bright and witty 
dialogue and telling situations ; 2 acts; 2 Hours..........ccceeeseeneeveee 
PICKING UP THE PIECES. Effective comedy either as a parlor play or 
Clik aiGee ey (ACU s GO: MINCE oe ccm ciaead ts reek clea ce Seta Ute iaecleas 
ROBERT EMMET, (New version.) A new, actable version of this great 
Ristorleaiscrainia’ ¢).3 ACCS): MOT isle'accinsls Wn dials ws, Jie’s sales e's tale eein wise elias 
SAVED FROM THE WRECK. Drama; serio-comic; 3 acts, 2 hours.... 
SCRAP OF PAPER, A. Comedy of the present time, full of healthy 
MILL OU SSI ACTS Ie NOEILS ¢ cial swale ea isled gains a viele Grass h itics ve a icisletae et, s lersieie's 
SHAKESPEARE WATER CURE. Burlesque comedy; each character a 
Sines ALLS Coe IOUT Ss sare Beh « nitiaines <soveter cial ala ersleia wrar o7Ee Negi e's wie ca lactase 
SINGLE LIFE. Comedy; the characters are all comic and all “Stars” 
ACCS PE AMIOUES 1. 1g oie ceiaisiele oes sere mtd Misi POI OER tiv ores civialy aw Sia wee Meira es 
SNOWBALL, THE. Farcical comedy ; the popularity of this comedy is un- 
PRGRUPM MS ACES fT 2cLOUTS I cia.e ahaiere ea nisitid sei slare cists cista's clays eisrare's s'ueielbeverale.s 
SOLON SHINGLE. Yankee comedy ; 2 acts; 1% hours..............e000 


STRIFE. (Master and Men.) Great labor drama; a play for the masses; 
ERO ALLOUIES Sait o.6'5 ata cree ots eie’s\cle.y dete iach eheial aig ais die. snyereieis <.c v'e'v vigic fo 


SUNSET. Comedy; requires some acting with reserve force in both comedy 
Bet Oestias sek ACs SO MMNULES? Suc .sc's os sean bogus s sales’ case die ahCiel arate . 


SWEETHEARTS. Comedy combining fa and pathos; 2 acts; 1 hour... 


TEN NIGHTS IN A BARROOM. New and simplified version of an old 
favorite that will draw hundreds where other plays draw dozens; 5 acts; 


DEMME rere Ae lea Selatan ataiee af denicis "> dyeeine ORs ATES Sune e eae nes ole die ere a 
THREE HATS. Farcical comedy ; one of the greatest favorites ; cannot fail 
to be a success; 3 acts; 2 hours...... Mey Nina aleteamtnteletorerass enero a sie,care Suietanerare 
TIMOTHY DELANO’S COURTSHIP. Yankee comedy full of pees 
RRCISCH Sat 2 ALIS oh PRDOUM ys oh cnet ot caters sors t eis este easibe prone ss os REDe a selene 
TRIED AND TRUE. Stirring play of city life, full of brisk action and fiers 
Bia a ACCRA NOUS og hoot so Hels saecan> sees a agate cide osha ds 50 ee us 
TRIPLE WEDDING. Short excellent drama of home life by the author of 
** The County Fair’’; 3 acts, ; ETSNCMIIES sc tecaatarae octet ts SLs biel Se ges 
UNCLE JACK. Drama; comic, with a good moral; 1 mek 15% hours...... 
UNCLE TOM’S CABIN. New version, An oid fevotlse rewritten so that 
icampe frayed: invany: hall-;*5 acts.;: 267 hourss. oss ees ve sccscacde ban 
UNDER A CLOUD. Comedy drama; bright, breezy, full of snap and go; 
PAGES Pe TROLLS 3. 2a sae aia, « CMe ciate CER & 08 ac ecutia.a Cinclotie Semis eteiciew ateuaute 
UNEX PECTED FARE, AN. Comedy affording excellent scope for amusing 
SliMAeIONE Ali DY-Diay sh 1) act,; 26 HOUT i. aces be dacaedeceiccesesad yes 
WANDERER’S RETURN, THE. (Enoch Arden.) Drama with strong 
lot and effective characters ; AsAELS SV 2PP NOULS a ea px ge 8 reraiees cyalberdan © a che 


WOODCOCK’S LITTLE GAME. | Farce- comedy ; funny; 2 acts 5. 1 hour.. 
WOVEN WEB, THE. Strong and sparkling drama; has a military flavor, 
ee frequently played under the title of ‘In Old Virginia’; 4 acts; 
MAMMLORMAIN. (0rs dlecaratebows x Gag vt Hiatal ve el nie BALE oi 9. oh 12 dik ete elas chairs. acto Mean caianaen tare 3 


DICK & FITZGERALD, Publishers, 18 Ann St. 


’ 
Sscceecece MSSSSSSSESSTSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSE 


4 


COMEDIES AND DRAMAS) 
25 CENTS EACH 


(\ ALL THE COMFORTS OF HOME. Comedy by William Gillette. Only 


authorized edition of this famous play; 4 acts; 214 hours....... sees. . 
BREAKING HIS BONDS. Strong drama with comic eee ye easily 
staged’s’ 4 acts $2 NOUIS ooo on hone cde beens oqnbie hele k cei Owen 
BUTTERNUT’S BRIDE; OR, SHE WOULD BE A ‘WIDOW. Farce 
comedy for laughing purposes only 33 acts 5296 NOULS . «see otiehe vais elelinits 
CAPTAIN DICK. Effective drama, founded on an episode of the Civil War ; 
Ziactss 2 NOUrS ys, 2s. 5 is vi ww cidis cbcl pale eisiaioisce are ae ak ee CaRee Fie aie ee ean 
DEACON, THE. Comedy drama that is simply immense. Alvyn Joslyn 
type, old man leading character ; 5 acts ; 244 hours........-.csceesccccecs 
EDWARDS THE SPY. Drama; a brilliant episode of the Civil War ; 5 acts ; 
236 hOULS. 6 oe eel stele ec bin ucb 8 Ce k-stee tie Rie eu wie ealehhe tre ate eter an es ee 
ERIN GO BRAGH. Up-to-date Irish drama; both serious and comic in 
scope, Not 'sensationalsi sracts 3 2NoOUrss .'.. diac ae scale enn emma 
GOLDEN GULCH. (The Government Scout.) Drama that combines fun, 
sentiment, and exciting situations; 3 acts; 24 hours........ ..seecccccs 
GYPSY QUEEN, THE. Romantic drama with bright comedy parts; 
4 aACts SP 226 HOUES. fo. 5 etek Cake eau ne Naas slau eae cope etiaiets eta erate ee dh Renmin 


JAILBIRD, THE. Drama of city life, containing a vivid plot with well- 
diversified interest, together with a pretty love-story ; 5 acts; 214 hours.. 
JOHN BRAG, DECEASED. Farce comedy; one of the best farces ever 
published ; nothing slow in this piece; 4 acts; 24% hours.....5..--.....++ 


JOSIAH’S COURTSHIP,  Farcical comedy drama; uproarious comedy 
features alternate with forceful, but not heavy pathos; 4 acts; 2 hours.... 


SSSISSSSETSEES 


MAN FROM MAINE. Comedy drama with a wide-awake hero from ‘* Down \ 
East.".2 SB acts SUP NOU ee ay ats, sg CH Tks Volk cin Sn ome Aaiente oh Sa nae meta Oy BAN 
MISS MOSHER OF COLORADO. any drama with erie! ‘charade \ 
ter.” parts 374 ACTS, QA AHOUPSE ais o's.» oeta erat bie ced twas sye'uinte, Garis wit eae 53 OY 
MY LADY DARRELL... Drama possessing all the elements of success ; ‘ 
power situations, effective stage pictures, and grand climaxes; 4 acts ; 
We ROUTE Fess oc ad wal acpier oie cis d btlecihye ocoy oe else ign ata ecalnre Chats eyelets etnias 9 6 
NIGHT OFF, A. Comedy by Augustin Daly; printed from the original 
prompt-copy *;a-acts; 256-Nours) ics: cpa eeeeeeen vee ebeee tees are et 6 5 


PRISONER OF ANDERSONVILLE.. Military comedy. drama. An excel- 
lent play for amateurs, as all the parts are good and evenly divided ; 4 acts ; 
DU OUPS « 2c gino dinsisie.e pists © 81h e WUla NALS. pote 8 pi mc cieca Bremmya SIMI tort ea ree he ALO 

REGULAR FLIRT, A. we to-date comedy, especially recommended to 
those who have produced the author's *‘ Just for Fun”’; 3 acts; 2hours... 4 4 

SEVEN-TWENTY-EIGHT. By Augustin Daly. There have been several 
imitations jot this comedy, but none of them approaches the original ; 


ae 


SSSSSSESESE 


d4acts;2% hours, ........ bate aisteterasa ata baie Biel vias fae asta @ pleats eae a orate aan ne tae 4 
SHAUN AKOON., Stirring drama of home life in Ireland; a tiple real pic- b ei 

ture of country life in the Emerald Isle ; 3 acts; 2 Hours... ub a sesseees 7 3 & | 
SQUIRE TOM Paths DAUGHTER. Strong comedy drama; 5 acts; ‘ 

BTU. Fa Gi scarscere wie eo,s arco clnidaleie sate. aieizsaceier eM aaele easter ele ary eae rt owe eek 
STEEL KING, THE. Comedy drama with brisk action; depicts the strug- \ 

gle between labor and capital; 4 acts ; 214 hours...........ssceee cones ase AS Ny 
WHAT’S NEXT? Farce comedy; 3 atte ; plays 150 minutes; raises 150 : 

ENT 40 Cran, PAE SRA CFE OBC EAC Ssh pak (ele vec Won larree EYED Ge or. sleteibie entre 7 ead. ¥ 
WHITE LIE, A. Comedy drama; abounds in laughable comedy features W 

and strong situations of serious interest; 4 acts ; 244 hours............. be 453 


DICK & FITZGERALD, Publishers, 18 Ann St., N. Y. 


PP ae a a ae ae ae ae ea es A: es NO ee Bs Ms Lr Ss se PoP PN ae SE ’s SE we 
PSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSS TESESSSSCSSSSSESSSSSSES cece’ 


' 


